20 Funny Valentines Quotes To Make You Smile

Whether you want to share some humorous Valentine’s Day quotes with your family and friends or want to celebrate Valentine with your spouse in a special way, this article is for you.

Welcome to the best collection of funny Valentines quotes and messages on the web. Are you excited?

Funny Valentines Quotes

As Valentine’s Day comes once a year, you must make it as special as you can. Sending messages to your loved ones or even sharing a social media post with them makes the day memorable for them.

Be it your spouse, friend, parent, sibling, child, or even coworker, you will find all you need here, from famous quotes for sharing to sweet messages for sending.

I collected the best of these quotes here and added some sweet messages to help you celebrate Valentine’s Day in a special way.

These are the 20 best funny Valentines quotes of all time. Let them inspire you to impress someone you love.

Top 10 Funny Valentines Quotes

Let’s start off with the 10 funniest Valentine’s Day quotes of all time.

  • “The thing about Valentine’s day is that people discover who are single and who to feel jealous of.” — Faye Morgan

The thing about Valentine’s day is that people discover who are single and who to feel jealous of

  • “You love me like pizza loves ketchup. I love you like a fat kid loves cake.”
  • “You may marry the man of your dreams, ladies, but fourteen years later you’re married to a couch that burps.” — Roseanne Barr
  • “All you need is love. But a little chocolate now and then doesn’t hurt.” — Charles M. Schulz
  • “You are mine. You are my Valentine. And everything else falls into line.” — Shaden Elhor

You are mine. You are my Valentine. And everything else falls into line

  • “I love you just as much as the smell of a new car. Oh, sweet bliss!”
  • “Without Valentine’s Day, February would be…well, January.” — Jim Gaffigan

Without Valentine’s Day, February would be…well, January

  • “Can someone tell me what singles exactly do on Valentines? I’m curious.” — Shaden Elhor
  • “If you hate when I look at you like a piece of meat, shall I look at you like a piece of chicken then? I love you.”
  • “I love you three times daily after meals. Happy Valentine’s Day, my doctor!”

I love you three times daily after meals. Happy Valentine's Day, my doctor

See Also: 200+ Valentine’s Day Wishes and Messages

More Funny Valentine’s Day Messages

Did you like my top 10 list? If so, here are many more hilarious Valentines quotes and messages. Let them put a smile on your face.

  • “You know how people say, ‘You can’t live without love’? Well, oxygen is even more important.” — Dr. Gregory Houser

You know how people say, 'You can’t live without love'? Well, oxygen is even more important

  • “I love food like I love you, hot and spicy.” — Shaden Elhor
  • “Love is only a dirty trick played on us to achieve continuation of the species.” — W. Somerset Maugham
  • “You’re never alone on Valentine’s Day if you’re near a lake and have bread.” — Mike Primavera
  • “To the lady who is as beautiful as the Lebanon Mountains, I love you.”

To the lady who is as beautiful as the Lebanon Mountains, I love you

  • “I have always thought that coffee is the only thing that can make me happy, until I met you. Happy Valentine’s Day to my favorite cup of coffee!”
  • “People think that Valentine is just snuggles, they are completely right. Let’s do it, sweetie.”

People think that Valentine is just snuggles, they are completely right. Let's do it, sweetie

  • “Someone asked me to be their Valentine. I already have mine. You’re right here.”
  • “The brain is the most outstanding organ. It works 24/7, 365 from birth until you fall in love.” — Sophie Monroe
  • “If I was about to die, would you get me my final wish? A big burger with nacho cheese dip for the fries. Happy Valentine, my dearest!”
  • “I love being married. It’s so great to find that one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life.” — Rita Rudner

I love being married. It's so great to find that one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life

Final Thoughts

Thanks for reading my collection of funny Valentines quotes. I hope you like it. If so, why not share it with your friends and family to make them smile on such a special day?

Share your favorite funny Valentine quote with us. You can simply write it in the comments section below.

Thank you!

Read Next: 60+ Valentine’s Day Quotes for Friends

Last Updated on January 15, 2024

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